“A guest in the house is a God in the house” – this Polish saying pretty much sums up what Polish hospitality is all about. I don’t know about you, but in my 10+ years in Poland, I have never been to any local dinner party that would disagree with that quote up there… If you have, I surely would love to hear your story! Of course, as we all know, the Polish people are not as warm (at first sight) as the Romanian people are, but if you become friends you will remain forever one. They don’t give up their hearts so easily, but they have open homes for friends & family alike.
Meet & Greet
If you have been invited to a dinner party by a Polish person, make sure you arrive there on time! Call if you are going to be late (even when you are stuck in traffic). It is the polite and right way to inform the family of your delay, in advance (not last minute!).
When you do arrive, make sure you don’t come there empty handed. Both in Poland, and in Romania, it is customary to bring something for the hosts. The most common gifts are chocolate/flowers for the missus and alcohol for the man of the house (vodka, or if a light summer party: beer).
As a welcoming sign, you can often encounter men shaking hands. For ladies, the right way to go is to kiss their cheek (3 times: left – right – left) or hand (more old fashioned, saw this less and less in the latest years). But make sure you don’t do that in the doorway! Wait at least until you are inside the house and the door is closed behind you.
Some people may be accustomed, especially when inside a new home, to expect a “tour of the house“. Well, let me make that clear: No showing the house unless there is a housewarming party.
Gifts (Alcohol)
They are not a must, but it is always cheap of you to come empty-handed to a party/gathering. As mentioned above, the common gifts are alcohol and sweets (or chips if there is a drinking party). Alcohol is always welcomed and it usually comes in the form of vodka or beer. Vodka is great every season and you can never go wrong with it – beer is mostly for the summertime.
If you come from abroad it is also nice if you bring a symbolic gift from your homeland – perhaps a local specialty of alcohol 😉
The meal/food/eating habits
To honor the host, it would be good to learn a bit of Polish: “Smacznego” = Bon appetit / Enjoy your meal; “Dziękuję” = thank you. Polish people love it when you try and speak their language as they all know how hard it is. They will greatly appreciate that and a few small words, carefully placed, will do wonders 😉
Usually, in traditional families, Sundays are customary family time. People go together to church, in the mornings, and then have lunch (or dinner) in the family. The dish of the day is usually “Rosol” – chicken soup with noodles, homemade + “Schabowy” – pork chop breaded with potatoes and “mizeria” – salad with onion, cucumber, tomatoes, and sour cream.
The proper way to have dinner with the family is to take a bite from each dish – at least to try – and compliment the host on her/his cooking skills.
Conversation topics
Conversation during the meal is a given, so be very careful about the topics: no religion/law/politics/communism / anti-semitism + Polish-Jewish relationship – keep things light and… talk about the weather :)))
You can always discuss books, movies, the life in Poland… but try to stay clear of any touchy subjects that may upset the host. Especially if they are older, they may be still rooted in certain patterns of thinking, so it is better not to start a fight in their own home. A safe topic is the late Pope John Paul the 2nd – as I have never (yet) met a Pole that did not like/love him.
So long, Farewell… Good Bye!
Remember to say “Thank you” or “Dziękuję” when leaving the table. It is good manners to thank the host for the lovely meal provided. But don’t immediately run away! There are cakes and drinks after the meal – usually – so do expect that and make room for a bite 😉
The Polish people do make great hosts and it is customary as well to extend your hospitality and ask for them to return the visit. So… better prepare yourself 😉
Yours sincerly,
The Twisted Red LadyBug, that went to plenty of Polish Dinners 😉
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