I have heard so many times the word “guilt” recently… We started saying it even more during COVID times and now, with the war knocking at our doors, I can’t help feeling that most of us live in a world where that word sits upon us, pressing us and sometimes blinding us and paralyzing us from taking any move.
As you all know – those that have experienced guilt at least once in their lives… – the sense of guilt is filled with negativity and it comes from over-thinking things. We tend to overanalyze things and overheat our brains so much that afterward, we feel overburdened by the things that crossed our minds.
A feeling creeping over me…
Everyone goes on Guilt Trips – sometimes we do it on our own or sometimes the guilt just creeps upon us, even when we are doing regular things in the house…
Say you just woke up and you are fixing yourself your breakfast. You might turn on the TV to hear the news, or you might flick through your phone to see what is new. Escaping from mass media and the news about the War in Ukraine is just not possible. You might have done your level best into helping out the situation: you might have volunteered for the refugees to have a home or helped bring in food and other supplies, you may have raised money from abroad to buy medical equipment and send it over… but it does not feel like it is enough, is it?
What is fair in this life?…
How fair is it to live in a country where there is Peace when just next door the War is raging and taking its toll?… How fair is it that you get to live and a child from Ukraine, from Mariupol, is lying dead on the pavement, his brains splattered, as unfeeling people pass by and go hunt for more? The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) verified a total of 1,964 civilian deaths during Russia’s military attack on Ukraine as of April 13, 2022. Of them, 161 were children.
We cried over the years over the atrocities committed in World War 2 but we never learn… We have said that many geniuses were lost in those days. Many children’s lives were lost back then… but what about the children we are losing now? We know only about this 161… but how that figure will grow!
It could be me… It could be you next!
Since the War in Ukraine started more than 10 million people have been displaced. Imagine yourself waking up in the middle of the night, having to leave NOW because your life is in danger. You cannot take much with you… and you must leave all behind. All your life. To go into the unknown.
All of this comes rushing down as we make breakfast, as we brush our teeth, as we go about our daily business… Reminding us we are doing things that people from Ukraine did not so long ago… Guilt… Guilt is a powerful tool. A tool that can help you sink ever further or lift us all up to give a stronger helping hand. What we choose to do next is up to us!
Yours truly,
A mother, a wife, a daughter… a woman like other women
Poland is a unique part of the world where traditions combine with rituals and myths. Here, people do things just because they were previously “set in stone” – “My whole family did this like that, why should I change?” So you may find customs and traditions that you might find odd/bizarre at first sight, but that are definitely worth your while.
The empty chair
The Polish people may not be as warm (at first sight) as the Romanian people, but they are great when it comes to traditional hospitality. If you have been invited over, be prepared for some food & vodka drinking! However, this unique Polish Custom is related to Christmas Eve. The families always leave an empty spot at the table for the unknown guest (representing Jesus, that may come any minute knocking at their door). There were 2 explanations I could hear about this custom: 1) Pagan roots – The Polish people (Same as Romanian people, to be honest) celebrate a feast in the memory of the deceased. During the feast, an empty chair is always left, in remembrance VS 2) Christian roots – New Testament – linking to how the Holy Family could not find shelter while Mary was due. She ended up giving birth in a stable, so the best decision is always to have an empty spot… just in case! Up to you which one you choose to go for 😉
A second wedding party (the day after)
We all know Weddings are important – especially in the cultures that are heavily religious like the Polish people have it. Weddings are important and they always come as a big family event, where everyone is invited – even the aunts and uncles that you have never spoken to them before… Everyone must be invited, even if they won’t come! Now the Weddings in Poland and with great fuss and they always come with a great amount of food and drinks and singing (a cappella – by the guests). But that is not the end of it 😉 Poprawiny = the party after the Wedding party. The party “after” in those cases, can last from 1 to 2 days after the initial wedding reception. The word “poprawiny” derives from the verb “poprawić“, which means to correct, improve, fix. What is there to fix? Well… you might have ordered more food & drinks than you should have… so it is time to correct that 😉 One does not simply leave a place of pierogi not eaten!!!
Tłusty Czwartek or Fat Thursday = Donuts time!
Fat Thursday – one of my fav days 😉
Tłusty Czwartek or Fat Thursday is one hell of a day! You need to prepare for it… If ever you will visit Poland on the day before Lent, you will certainly observe large queues of people around pastry/sweets shops (“cukiernia“). The Unique Polish Custom is to actually have one last chance to overindulge on anything sweets and savory on that day. The Catholics will “go on strike” and start fasting, but they do have this one day where everything is permitted – food-wise. The most popular treat of the day is, of course, the Polish-style donuts aka Pączki that have no hole in the middle. The 2nd favorite is the “Angel Wings” aka “chrust”.
Marzanna’s drowning…
Yes, this Unique Polish Custom is actually related to another pagan ritual. Oddly enough, people in Poland are very attached to this ritual, and every year, between the 19th and 21st of March (depending on the year) you have almost every kindergarten creating a Marzanna and later on drowning it… This custom is specific not only to Poland but also to Lithuania, Slovakia, and the Czech Republic (do you sense a pattern there?). Marzanna is a Slavic witch/goddess and she is associated with plague and death. To avoid that, the fake Marzanna must be torched in order to bring in Spring. Of course, to make sure that the “witch” is dead, the same thing – after burning her – is also drowning her (you can never be too certain, can’t you?!).
Ideas for yummy… sandwiches?!?
Kanapki – Sandwiches?!?
Had to save the best Unique Polish Custom as the last… Well, you should have seen my face 10 years ago (fresh LadyBug in Poland) when someone asked if I wanted a sandwich. When you think of sandwiches, you usually imagine 2 slices of bread with something in between them. Imagine my surprise when my friend came back with 1 slice of bread and… something on top that resembled cream cheese and had slices of cucumber on top. Now, I do come from Romania (where we take bread with everything) so this came as a shock! (Along with the fact that I would go to lunch and wait for the basket of bread to come… yet it never did!). Kanapka is the Polish word for sandwich but in fact it is an open-sandwich with only 1 slice of bread. Always just 1 slice! The Polish people eat that for breakfast, lunch, dinner… you name it! Whenever, wherever!
Excuse me?! Indeed we live in 2020, but truth be told the world has gone haywire and nothing is as it used to be. We will never get back to that kind of “normal” and we will have to learn this. There is a need to change our mentalities, the way we think, and the way we work. We have to unlearn and teach ourselves the new “normal”.
On that thought, I’ve recently read an article in a Romanian news site about the IPS Teodosie who said (and you can see the video here – in RO language) that going to a Catholic Church, if no Orthodox Church is around, is wrong. It’s a sin!
What did the Roman Catholics back home say?
The Archbishop of the Roman Catholics in Bucharest replied that they were unpleasantly surprised by what IPS Teodosie said. Well… you and me both, brother… and we are not the only ones surprised and mortified about this public opinion.
Orthodox Church in Harlau, Jud. Iasi, Romania – photo taken by myself 2017
Where do I stand? Romania & Poland
Let’s set the facts straight for my particular case, so you don’t think I am biased or… something…
1. According to the 2002 census, 86.7 percent of Romania‘s total population was Orthodox, 4.7 percent Roman Catholic, 3.2 percent Reformed, 1.5 percent Pentecostal, 0.9 percent Greek Catholic, and 0.6 percent Baptist.
2. According to 2015 demographics, 92.9% of Poland‘s population is Roman Catholic.
I was born in Romania, in Iasi (the equivalent of cultural Krakow). The region is called Moldova and not once have I been confused by fellows from abroad, asking me if I speak Russian – confusing the region in Romania called Moldova with the country Moldova, once part of Romania.
Ștefan cel Mare and the churches
Well, Romania had once a fantastic one of a kind ruler called: Stefan cel Mare (aka Stephen the Great). He also fought the Polish people 😉 Fun fact: The Battle of the Cosmin Forest (1497) (Romanian: bătălia de la Codrii Cosminului; Polish: bitwa pod Koźminem) was fought between the Moldavian Prince, Ștefan cel Mare (Stephen the Great), and King John I of Poland (John I Albert) of the Kingdom of Poland. Guess what? It was a huge victory for Moldova!
Neamt Citadel – photo made by myself 2017Neamt Citadel (on the bridge) – photo made by myself 2017
Romanian people and Sobieski
Besides that, one of my favorite citadels back home is the Neamt Citadel. Rumored to have been built in the 13th century by Teutonic Knights, Jan 3rd Sobieski tried to take it over. 25,000 men-strong army of Polish king John III Sobieski came across Cetatea Neamţului (Neamt Citadel), defended by less than 20 men. The Poles attacked the stronghold, believing that it contained necessary provisions. After over a week of siege, the small Moldavian garrison surrendered. Legend has it that, moved by the determined opposition from such a minuscule force, the Polish monarch granted life and free passage to the Moldavians in the garrison and gave them ranks in the Polish army.
Making it up to the Motherland
Anyway…back to my main story: Stephen the Great was a small person but strong essences do come in small bottles… he loved to fight for his country and he liked women. So he had a beautiful lady waiting for him always, besides his dutiful wife.
How did he make it up in front of God and Motherland? By fighting the Turks, the infidels, and by building churches. For each battle, he took part in, even if he won – lost – or if there was a draw, he would raise a Church nearby. This was a way to show the common folk his connection to God, which invested him to take care of Moldova.
Mitropolitain Church located on Stefan cel Mare Street (Stephen the Great) #Iasi#romania
The Church and its clean hands
Church has always run hand in hand with the political issues, no matter how much they deny it or try to disguise that. And that happened (and still happens) inside both the Orthodox and Catholic Church. They always try and have the upper hand, they always try and reach for the supremacy.
Which Church do I belong to?!
I’ve been raised in an Orthodox environment. Went often to Church and I’ve always liked that. The feeling of peace and quiet and… joy when you enter a church. Of the odd feeling of your skin getting goosebumps when one listens to the choir. The separation of women on one side and men on the other. It was boring/tedious to do it all standing… as the ceremony tends to be quite long. But you get to observe the people, focus on the icons, catch the Sundays slowly entering the church… sometimes it is magical!
In my second year of University I’ve been baptised again to the Protestant branch – the names are not important… denominations as well… at the time I did not see the point of having old priests mumbling about sermons and not understanding a word. Or worse, listening to the priest from the Orthodox parish we were under, constantly asking for money each Sunday instead of saying words of wisdom for the next week…
I believed (and still believe) that there is no need for a middleman – the priest in this case. You can pray directly to God, rather than asking the Saints (like Saint Paraschiva) to pray for you. Talk to Him directly! He listens, he takes note – he just answers in different ways.
I moved to Poland, to Krakow, in the summer of 2011. Poland is very similar to Romania – a country filled with believers ( even if only by name). There are as many churches in Krakow as there are in Iasi – possibly even more… they sprout at each corner and they are all very old and very Catholic. But guess what? They have open doors for everyone to come and join in the Mass.
There is one “prawosławny” Church in Krakow – that’s Greek Catholic, the closest branch one would have to the Orthodox Church. The service is held in the Polish language and in Russian. The church is quite small but I’ve never stayed during a service there… yet people tell me it gets packed.
Inside the parish of St. Mary’s Church (PL: Kosciol Mariacki) we have a Romanian priest, that does every 2 weeks the Mass for us in the Romanian language. It is a blessing and I find this comforting. I’m married to a Polish lad, that studied to be a Catholic priest. I’m married to a Catholic family, so I get to experience double Easters, for example.
The video of IPS Teodosie got me baffled completely… we are in the age and time where we should have more compassion and be more open minded than that. How could he say that if a man, during his stay in London, cannot find an Orthodox Church, he should not go to the Catholic one, as this is a sin?! Are we not all reading the same Bible? Do we not believe in the same God and the Holy Trinity? Do we not all ( Orthodox, Protestant, Catholic) preach that LOVE is the most important of all???
When I saw the video in question I felt as if someone threw a rock at my head… Does the Bible not say:
Romans 5:8but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 3:1See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
1 Peter 1:22Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
And last but not least… Mark 12:28-30 And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
Yours always truly,
The Twisted Red LadyBug
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