I have heard so many times the word “guilt” recently… We started saying it even more during COVID times and now, with the war knocking at our doors, I can’t help feeling that most of us live in a world where that word sits upon us, pressing us and sometimes blinding us and paralyzing us from taking any move.
As you all know – those that have experienced guilt at least once in their lives… – the sense of guilt is filled with negativity and it comes from over-thinking things. We tend to overanalyze things and overheat our brains so much that afterward, we feel overburdened by the things that crossed our minds.
A feeling creeping over me…
Everyone goes on Guilt Trips – sometimes we do it on our own or sometimes the guilt just creeps upon us, even when we are doing regular things in the house…
Say you just woke up and you are fixing yourself your breakfast. You might turn on the TV to hear the news, or you might flick through your phone to see what is new. Escaping from mass media and the news about the War in Ukraine is just not possible. You might have done your level best into helping out the situation: you might have volunteered for the refugees to have a home or helped bring in food and other supplies, you may have raised money from abroad to buy medical equipment and send it over… but it does not feel like it is enough, is it?
What is fair in this life?…
How fair is it to live in a country where there is Peace when just next door the War is raging and taking its toll?… How fair is it that you get to live and a child from Ukraine, from Mariupol, is lying dead on the pavement, his brains splattered, as unfeeling people pass by and go hunt for more? The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) verified a total of 1,964 civilian deaths during Russia’s military attack on Ukraine as of April 13, 2022. Of them, 161 were children.
We cried over the years over the atrocities committed in World War 2 but we never learn… We have said that many geniuses were lost in those days. Many children’s lives were lost back then… but what about the children we are losing now? We know only about this 161… but how that figure will grow!
It could be me… It could be you next!
Since the War in Ukraine started more than 10 million people have been displaced. Imagine yourself waking up in the middle of the night, having to leave NOW because your life is in danger. You cannot take much with you… and you must leave all behind. All your life. To go into the unknown.
All of this comes rushing down as we make breakfast, as we brush our teeth, as we go about our daily business… Reminding us we are doing things that people from Ukraine did not so long ago… Guilt… Guilt is a powerful tool. A tool that can help you sink ever further or lift us all up to give a stronger helping hand. What we choose to do next is up to us!
Yours truly,
A mother, a wife, a daughter… a woman like other women
Tomorrow is the very first black page of a 365-page book. I hope you will write a good one! Filled with love, laughter, and togetherness!
I hope that you had a blessed Christmas next to the ones you love. I hope you managed to rest and be merry.
As the New Year is knocking at our doors, I wanted to take some time and extend to you a warm hug & kisses upon both cheeks.
I wish for the New Year to bring you health & joy & happiness! I hope you will make the most of it, that you will keep your mind and your heart open.
I hope that you will invest not in buying things, but rather in experiences. I hope you will have time to reflect on the things that passed and things that happen now.
I hope you will look towards the future and teach your children to be kinder, better than we are.
I hope you will be happy and healthy… not only in the New Year but in all the years to come! Happy New Year everyone!
My dearest hearts, I hope you all will have a very Merry Christmas!
I am not wishing for things, rather for time together with the ones I love, for good health and keeping our jobs stable in the future. It is the little things we look up to now. So today I wanted to share with you, as a gift, a story that has always haunted me but at the same time I loved it with all my heart. I hope you can learn from it as well as I did.
The Little Match Girl – by HCA
It was dreadfully cold; it was snowing fast, and was almost dark, as evening came on—the last evening of the year. In the cold and the darkness, there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded and with naked feet.
When she left home she had slippers on, it is true, but they were much too large for her feet, —slippers that her mother had used until then, and the poor little girl lost them in running across the street when two carriages were passing terribly fast. When she looked for them, one was not to be found, and a boy seized the other and ran away with it, saying he would use it for a cradle some day, when he had children of his own.
So on the little girl went with her bare feet, that were red and blue with cold. In an old apron that she wore were bundles of matches, and she carried a bundle also in her hand. No one had bought so much as a bunch all the long day, and no one had given her even a penny. Poor little girl! Shivering with cold and hunger she crept along, a perfect picture of misery!
The snowflakes fell on her long flaxen hair, which hung in pretty curls about her throat; but she thought not of her beauty nor of the cold. Lights gleamed in every window, and there came to her the savory smell of roast goose, for it was New Year’s Eve. And it was of this which she thought In a corner formed by two houses, one of which projected beyond the other, she sat cowering down. She had drawn under her little feet, but still she grew colder and colder; yet she dared not go home, for she had sold no matches, and could not bring a penny of money. Her father would certainly beat her; and, besides, it was cold enough at home, for they had only the house roof above them; and, though the largest holes had been stopped with straw and rags, there were left many through which the cold wind whistled. And now her little hands were nearly frozen with cold. Alas! a single match might do her good if she might only draw it from the bundle, rub it against the wall, and warm her fingers by it. So at last she drew one out.
Whischt! How it blazed and burned! It gave out a warm, bright flame like a little candle, as she held her hands over it. A wonderful little light it was. It really seemed to the little girl as if she sat before a great iron stove, with polished brass feet and brass shovel and tongs. So blessedly it burned that the little maiden stretched out her feet to warm them also. How comfortable she was! But lo! the flame went out, the stove vanished, and nothing remained but the little burned match in her hand.
She rubbed another match against the wall. It burned brightly, and where the light fell upon the wall it became transparent like a veil so that she could see through it into the room. A snow-white cloth was spread upon the table, on which was a beautiful china dinner service, while a roast goose, stuffed with apples and prunes, steamed famously, and sent forth a most savory smell. And what was more delightful still, and wonderful, the goose jumped from the dish, with knife and fork still in its breast, and waddled along the floor straight to the little girl. But the match went out then, and nothing was left to her but the thick, damp wall.
She lighted another match. And now she was under a most beautiful Christmas tree, larger and far more prettily trimmed than the one she had seen through the glass doors at the rich merchant’s. Hundreds of wax tapers were burning on the green branches, and gay figures, such as she had seen in the shop windows, looked down upon her. The child stretched out her hands to them; then the match went out.
Still the lights of the Christmas tree rose higher and higher. She saw them as stars in heaven, and one of them fell, forming a long trail of fire. “Now some one is dying,” murmured the child softly; for her grandmother, the only person who had loved her and who was now dead, had told her that whenever a star falls a soul mounts up to God.
She struck yet another match against the wall, and again it was light; and in the brightness there appeared before her the dear old grandmother, bright and radiant, yet sweet and mild, and happy as she had never looked on earth. “Oh, grandmother,” cried the child, “take me with you. I know you will go away when the match burns out. You, too, will vanish, like the warm stove, the splendid New Year’s feast, the beautiful Christmas Tree.” And lest her grandmother should disappear, she rubbed the whole bundle of matches against the wall. And the matches burned with such a brilliant light that it became brighter than noonday. Her grandmother had never looked so grand and beautiful. She took the little girl in her arms, and both flew together, joyously and gloriously, mounting higher and higher, far above the earth; and for them there was neither hunger, nor cold, nor care;—they were with God.
But in the corner, at the dawn of day, sat the poor girl, leaning against the wall, with red cheeks and smiling mouth,—frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. Stiff and cold she sat, with the matches, one bundle of which was burned. “She wanted to warm herself, poor little thing,” people said. No one imagined what sweet visions she had had, or how gloriously she had gone with her grandmother to enter upon the joys of a new year.
From “Hans Andersen’s Fairy Tales.” By permission of publishers—Ginn & Company.
Excuse me?! Indeed we live in 2020, but truth be told the world has gone haywire and nothing is as it used to be. We will never get back to that kind of “normal” and we will have to learn this. There is a need to change our mentalities, the way we think, and the way we work. We have to unlearn and teach ourselves the new “normal”.
What does IPS Teodosie think?!
On that thought, I’ve recently read an article in a Romanian news site about the IPS Teodosie who said (and you can see the video here – in RO language) that going to a Catholic Church, if no Orthodox Church is around, is wrong. It’s a sin!
What did the Roman Catholics back home say?
The Archbishop of the Roman Catholics in Bucharest replied that they were unpleasantly surprised by what IPS Teodosie said. Well… you and me both, brother… and we are not the only ones surprised and mortified about this public opinion.
Where do I stand? Romania & Poland
Let’s set the facts straight for my particular case, so you don’t think I am biased or… something…
1. According to the 2002 census, 86.7 percent of Romania‘s total population was Orthodox, 4.7 percent Roman Catholic, 3.2 percent Reformed, 1.5 percent Pentecostal, 0.9 percent Greek Catholic, and 0.6 percent Baptist.
2. According to 2015 demographics, 92.9% of Poland‘s population is Roman Catholic.
I was born in Romania, in Iasi (the equivalent of cultural Krakow). The region is called Moldova and not once have I been confused by fellows from abroad, asking me if I speak Russian – confusing the region in Romania called Moldova with the country Moldova, once part of Romania.
Ștefan cel Mare and the churches
Well, Romania had once a fantastic one of a kind ruler called: Stefan cel Mare (aka Stephen the Great). He also fought the Polish people 😉 Fun fact: The Battle of the Cosmin Forest (1497) (Romanian: bătălia de la Codrii Cosminului; Polish: bitwa pod Koźminem) was fought between the Moldavian Prince, Ștefan cel Mare (Stephen the Great), and King John I of Poland (John I Albert) of the Kingdom of Poland. Guess what? It was a huge victory for Moldova!
Romanian people and Sobieski
Besides that, one of my favorite citadels back home is the Neamt Citadel. Rumored to have been built in the 13th century by Teutonic Knights, Jan 3rd Sobieski tried to take it over. 25,000 men-strong army of Polish king John III Sobieski came across Cetatea Neamţului (Neamt Citadel), defended by less than 20 men. The Poles attacked the stronghold, believing that it contained necessary provisions. After over a week of siege, the small Moldavian garrison surrendered. Legend has it that, moved by the determined opposition from such a minuscule force, the Polish monarch granted life and free passage to the Moldavians in the garrison and gave them ranks in the Polish army.
Making it up to the Motherland
Anyway…back to my main story: Stephen the Great was a small person but strong essences do come in small bottles… he loved to fight for his country and he liked women. So he had a beautiful lady waiting for him always, besides his dutiful wife.
How did he make it up in front of God and Motherland? By fighting the Turks, the infidels, and by building churches. For each battle, he took part in, even if he won – lost – or if there was a draw, he would raise a Church nearby. This was a way to show the common folk his connection to God, which invested him to take care of Moldova.
The Church and its clean hands
Church has always run hand in hand with the political issues, no matter how much they deny it or try to disguise that. And that happened (and still happens) inside both the Orthodox and Catholic Church. They always try and have the upper hand, they always try and reach for the supremacy.
Which Church do I belong to?!
I’ve been raised in an Orthodox environment. Went often to Church and I’ve always liked that. The feeling of peace and quiet and… joy when you enter a church. Of the odd feeling of your skin getting goosebumps when one listens to the choir. The separation of women on one side and men on the other. It was boring/tedious to do it all standing… as the ceremony tends to be quite long. But you get to observe the people, focus on the icons, catch the Sundays slowly entering the church… sometimes it is magical!
In my second year of University I’ve been baptised again to the Protestant branch – the names are not important… denominations as well… at the time I did not see the point of having old priests mumbling about sermons and not understanding a word. Or worse, listening to the priest from the Orthodox parish we were under, constantly asking for money each Sunday instead of saying words of wisdom for the next week…
I believed (and still believe) that there is no need for a middleman – the priest in this case. You can pray directly to God, rather than asking the Saints (like Saint Paraschiva) to pray for you. Talk to Him directly! He listens, he takes note – he just answers in different ways.
Orthodox & Catholics in Krakow
I moved to Poland, to Krakow, in the summer of 2011. Poland is very similar to Romania – a country filled with believers ( even if only by name). There are as many churches in Krakow as there are in Iasi – possibly even more… they sprout at each corner and they are all very old and very Catholic. But guess what? They have open doors for everyone to come and join in the Mass.
There is one “prawosławny” Church in Krakow – that’s Greek Catholic, the closest branch one would have to the Orthodox Church. The service is held in the Polish language and in Russian. The church is quite small but I’ve never stayed during a service there… yet people tell me it gets packed.
Inside the parish of St. Mary’s Church (PL: Kosciol Mariacki) we have a Romanian priest, that does every 2 weeks the Mass for us in the Romanian language. It is a blessing and I find this comforting. I’m married to a Polish lad, that studied to be a Catholic priest. I’m married to a Catholic family, so I get to experience double Easters, for example.
Do we not believe in the same God?!
The video of IPS Teodosie got me baffled completely… we are in the age and time where we should have more compassion and be more open minded than that. How could he say that if a man, during his stay in London, cannot find an Orthodox Church, he should not go to the Catholic one, as this is a sin?! Are we not all reading the same Bible? Do we not believe in the same God and the Holy Trinity? Do we not all ( Orthodox, Protestant, Catholic) preach that LOVE is the most important of all???
When I saw the video in question I felt as if someone threw a rock at my head… Does the Bible not say:
Romans 5:8but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 3:1See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
1 Peter 1:22Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
And last but not least… Mark 12:28-30 And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
Yours always truly,
The Twisted Red LadyBug
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